This Just In: Living (and being fat) Gives You Cancer!

Oh, boy. Now, this topic is already being slammed over at Kate’s, but since I didn’t want to be snarky (-er?) all up in her comments section, I figured I’d bring my snark over to my own house.

Now, along with everything else that gives you cancer (breathing, eating, walking, LIVING even, dammit) teh fat is gonna give you the cancer too.

What cancer? Welp…they run the gamut:

The analysis of the studies found a definite link between excess fat and cancers of the esophagus, pancreas, colon and rectum, endometrium, kidney as well as breast cancer in postmenopausal women.

Now, what disturbs me is that the risk from extra weight starts at birth. Word? Now, I was a big baby. I mean, big as in I couldn’t wear newborn clothes big. So, I came into the world with the “cancer” label hanging over my head. Well. That’s just damned depressing.

However, the biggest push (from both the MSN article I read and the actual list of preventive measures) is that you must be thin to reduce the risk. Eat a balanced diet! No red meat or processed foods! No dietary supplements! (ok, that one got a big “what the fuck” from me. what if you’re anemic?) Everything we do in life, it seems, has to do with what we put in our mouths. Well, except for the tall people. They can’t get less tall, you see, and according to the article:

In addition, tall people seem to have a higher risk of colorectal and postmenopausal breast cancer, according to the report.
“We found that tallness is also probably linked to increased risk for ovarian, pancreatic and premenopausal cancer as well,” Willett said. Although the association between height and cancer is convincing, tall people are not destined to get cancer, he added.

Uh huh. Well, it’s good to know the tall people ain’t doomed. However, it’s pretty clear that most of the fat folks are. And, I wonder, what of the tall AND fat folks? Does the same logic work for them? Of course not. Because they’re FAT and the OMGOBEISITYEPIDEMIC must be curbed by any means!

Now, I reckon I can appreciate (ugh) the latest cancer statistics, but I’m just wondering, did anyone catch this study over at Junkfood Science? No? Well, let me give you the bottom line of it:

There were no significant differences in the incidences of breast cancer, colon cancer, heart attacks or strokes, or weight changes, among those who ate a restrictive “healthy” diet and the control group (29,294 women) who ate whatever they pleased.

Well. I’m sure y’all are wondering why the hell THIS study didn’t make national headlines. Simple. The diet companies need more money, and hell, THIS revelation ain’t gonna get them anymore clients. Remember, we have an obesity epidemic. We have to fix folks’ fat!

*disgusted eye roll* Yeah. Whatever.


4 Responses to “This Just In: Living (and being fat) Gives You Cancer!”

  1. November 1, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    I didn’t want to be snarky (-er?) all up in her comments section

    Are you kidding me??

    I mean, any excuse for a great post, but I want the snark in my comments!

  2. November 1, 2007 at 12:54 pm

    Heh! I put a sprinkle of WTF and twist of snark in the comments earlier…maybe when I recharge my battery I’ll be back! (cause I gotta eat and further increase my cancer risk, y’know?)

  3. 3 fillyjonk
    November 1, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    Well, it’s good to know the tall people ain’t doomed.

    Even though the link was merely “convincing” — like the links between fat and cancer, those that weren’t less than convincing. Yet they don’t take time out to tell you that being fat doesn’t necessarily doom you. Hm.

    Also, I cannot believe anyone still listens to Walter Willett.

    And yes, please come be as snarky as possible on SP.

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