Seriously, Y’all, Leave Santa Alone!

Addendum: So, I emailed BuddingStarlet this article (as I always do). Interestingly, her company (which I won’t name) has a policy on not using salty language in emails, so I have to be careful to edit my posts on days when my mouth is particularly filthy. Now, there’s one obvious swear word here, which I took out, but she still didn’t get the email. Why? “Ho” is in it. I was too tickled to not tell y’all about it…because if I edit out that part, she’s not gonna get the gist of the post. And the foolishness spreads. 

Wow, folks. First, they wanted Santa to drop a few pounds because he was a bad influence on children. Now, not only are folks trying to take away Santa’s belly, but his catchphrase as well.

Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha” instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho”, a US slang term for prostitute.

Ok, folks, seriously? Why is everybody attacking St. Nick? Just as taking away Santa’s tummy wouldn’t make Santa…Santa anymore, taking away “ho, ho, ho” would diminish his image too. And it seems to me if folks feel that his laugh can be misconstrued otherwise needs to grab an encyclopedia, look up Saint Nicholas, and enlighten themselves.

But this whole thing makes me wonder what exactly these recruitment firms are reading into Santa’s laugh. Because, “ho, ho, ho” is a laugh. Don’t believe me? Go and grab yourself some early century literature (English or American, doesn’t matter) and examine the terminology of the day. “Ho” could have been a laugh, an order to charge (“Ho! go forward!”), or an interjection (“What, ho!”) Unfortunately, as social usage of words tend to dictate, yes, ho has now become synonymous with the word prostitute. However, this new equation is well, new. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary:

ho : exclamation of surprise, etc., c.1300; as an exclamation calling attention, c.1430. Used after the name of a place to which attention is called (cf. Westward-Ho) it dates from 1593, originally a cry of boatmen, etc., announcing departures for a particular destination. Ho-ho-ho expressing laughter is recorded from c.1150.

Emphasis mine. Now, etymology only explains the origin of words as opposed to meanings, yes, but as you can see, nowhere in the history of “ho” do you see the word “prostitute.” Why is that? Well, according to Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: ho
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural hos or hoes
Etymology: alteration of whore
Date: 1965
slang : whore

1965, huh? Slang, you say? So technically it isn’t even considered a “proper” word (think like that term “ain’t” I tend to throw around). Seems to me Santa has been around much longer, so for me, his version of “ho” holds a lot more weight. But I’m gonna hop off the etymology soapbox now and climb onto the feminist one.

From what I understand of the article, this change in speech is a) to avoid frightening children and to b) avoid offending women. Mhm. So, we womenfolk ain’t intelligent enough to distinguish Santa’s catchphrase from something random dude A would toss out whilst walking down the street? Seriously? I recognize where the sensitivity comes from, but come on y’all. Santa has not given anyone a reason to believe that he’s objectifying women. He’s just laughing, folks.

And as far as the children are concerned, “ho, ho, ho” isn’t what’s scary. It’s this huge man with lots of hair that they don’t know. And they have to sit in his lap. Now, if you’re 3, the unknown person is what scares the shit out of you. If Santa said “ha, ha, ha” they’d STILL be petrified…so, why alter it again?

Yeah. So seriously, folks, LEAVE SANTA BE!


5 Responses to “Seriously, Y’all, Leave Santa Alone!”

  1. November 15, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    I thought the same things you said when I saw the article on Yahoo news. I was like WTF!!! If a you hear Santa say “ho, ho, ho”, it’s usually followed by “Merry Christmas”. Now, if a woman thinks he’s saying “whore, whore, whore, Merry Christmas”, then she has a serious self-esteem issue (or she’s a prostie, take your pick). All this political correctness is going too far when they want Santa to be thin, toned, and tan and he can’t do a proper Santa laugh anymore. These people have way too much time on their hands and are too willing to run the world according to their vision, because after all, they know what’s best for us all. I don’t think so.

  2. November 15, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    I mean, really. I work part time from home and I don’t have the time to dissect who Santa is, what he looks like, what he stands for…etc and deliberately misconstrue what he says.

    And since these folks DO have this much time on their hands, I want THEIR jobs.

  3. 3 nuckingfutz
    November 20, 2007 at 7:41 am

    Oh. My. God.

    PLEASE tell me this is a joke. PLEASE?!?!

    I just can’t believe that people are SO caught up in this shit that Santa’s friggin’ LAUGH has suddenly become offensive? After what? A THOUSAND years or something? (I’m talking all the way back to the original [and real] St. Nicholas.)

    What’s next? Is his suit going to become suddenly offensive because it’s RED? OMG, Santa’s a COMMUNIST!!!!

    This is just un-friggin’-believable.

  4. November 20, 2007 at 11:07 am

    I mean…I could tell you it’s a joke. But I’d be lying.


    I’m waiting for them to make Santa dye his hair black and cut off his beard.

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