This Just In: There is no Obesity Epidemic!

Addendum: I just had to share this with y’all:When I informed BuddingStarlet that there was no longer an Obesity Epidemic, she said: “What! No more epidemic?! We should have a funeral and bury it. I mean…if we are, we should wear black. It makes you look slimmer, dont’cha know.” Heh. I should probably find some better friends. 😀

You’ve been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Suffice it to say you’ve been slightly misinformed. All of this anti-fat rhetoric and research has come to this:

About 33 percent of men and 35 percent of women were obese. The new rates were slightly higher than the 31 percent and 33 percent reported in 2003-2004 surveys.

However, in generalizing the results to the U.S. population, researchers calculated a margin of error that swallows up the differences between years. In other words, the increases were not considered statistically significant.

Mhm. So…this whole “obesity epidemic” thing? Yeah, not existent. What’s that? You say, of COURSE it’s an epidemic! I see fat people everyday! Ladies and gents, allow me to introduce you to the word “epidemic,” courtesy of Merriam-Webster Online:

Main Entry: epidemic
Function: noun
Date: 1757
1 : an outbreak of epidemic disease
2 : an outbreak or product of sudden rapid spread, growth, or development

Emphasis mine. Now see, folks have been saying for quite some time now that there is no such animal as the Obesity Epidemic. And now, from the CDC themselves (ok, perhaps in not so many words, but y’know governmental folks have to skate around the truth) we see…no significant changes in the levels of obesity. So in other words…we folk in the Fat Acceptance movement were right. We were right to question these so called numbers; right to call shenanigans on the “ever-rising level” of obesity in the States. Because THERE IS NO EVER RISING LEVEL. I mean, it’s not as if folks are leaving home thin, going into convulsions, and dropping to the ground…only to arise much plumper than they used to be. I mean, it’s not like if I sneeze on you, you’re gonna immediately become chubby, right? Oh, right. Well, apparently, it ain’t always catching (perhaps there’s an immunity as yet undiscovered?), because if it’s gonna be called an epidemic, it should be spreading like wildfire. However, that’s just not the case.

But, as always, there can be no dancing in the streets, kids. Because just like when we found out being overweight wasn’t a death sentence, but it STILL IS UNHEALTHYOMG!!!!, we have been warned:

The rates are still too high, said Mark Swanson, a researcher who studies childhood obesity and school nutrition at the University of Kentucky’s College of Public Health.

“Until the numbers start to go the other direction, I don’t think we can consider this a success at all,” he said.

Well. It took these folks a while to admit there was no epidemic. Perhaps it will take a while longer for them to admit they don’t have a magic elixir (drug or otherwise) that’s gonna make folks thin and KEEP them thin. These here bureaucratic folks just don’t like to admit defeat. That’s ok. There were some of us who knew the truth before they, um, discovered and confirmed (*snort*) it, and we’ll continue to know the truth until they opt to discover and confirm what we know to be true yet again.

1 Response to “This Just In: There is no Obesity Epidemic!”

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