Archive for January, 2008


Three Cheers for Rachel and Monique!

Addendum: If you haven’t gotten a chance to see the show, or forgot to DVR it, go here and take a peek. 

So, I just finished watching the Morning Show With Mike and Juliet segment with Rachel, Monique, random doctor A, and….MeMe Roth. Ugh.

There should totally be a rule that the person who speaks MeMe Roth’s name should take a shot of pure melted SALTED butter. Mmm. Butter. But I digress.

But on to the lovin’. Let me tell you, these two women were much calmer than I would have been in that situation. So, I listen to MR’s statistics. So…800 people a DAY die of fat? Cut to me with my mouth hanging open. I don’t remember reading that stat. Especially because the CDC only reports 30,000 folks a year dying of the fat. Now, I don’t do much by figurin’ and such, but 800 times 365 (or more, it’s a leap year) is a lot more than 30,000. I wonder where MR got her information from?

But that’s ok, cause Monique and Rachel handled it well. Especially when Rachel went into the tinkering of the bullshit that is the BMI. See, in 1998, they (and “they” refers to the powers that be that determine what healthy is, whomever that might be) lowered the “average” requirement so that millions of folks woke up the next morning with the “overweight” label glued to their foreheads.

But it isn’t even the technical stuff that had me flinging clean socks and expletives at my television. It was listening to MR spew foolishness like “If the title of the NY Times article had been ‘Thin is in, or At Least Accepted’, there would have been a public outcry!” or the wonderful “The Fat Acceptance movement has come to mean that ‘Fat is beautiful'” or the FUCKING RIDICULOUS “Fat is already accepted as the norm…”

Have mercy. I’m not sure where to start. Ok, yes I am. We’ll start at the beginning. As Vesta44 said in her critique (and I’ll add I got the stats above from her too–I told y’all, I don’t do much by figurin’ and such), there’s no need for a blatant statement of “Thin is In”. We see it every single day when reading magazines, watching television, web surfing….we are always bombarded by these images of overly thin, tanned, blazingly white-toothed individuals. In a day where the norm is considered unattainable, it feels good to have some folks to relate to. That’s all. And truth be told (and I know this has been discussed at length in other more prolific blogs than my own) thin people aren’t automatically excluded. Because the thin is in propaganda doesn’t just take its toll on fat folks. It takes its toll on skinny folks, in between folks, everybody. And MR has an issue with these folks coming together to rally against this norm that has been foisted upon us? Kiss my ass.

Now, as for the whole “Big is beautiful” component, yep, I’ll say it. BIG IS BEAUTIFUL. THIN IS BEAUTIFUL. A BELLY WITH DEFINED ABS TO A BELLY WITH ROLLS IS BEAUTIFUL. THIN THIGHS ARE GORGEOUS. THICK THIGHS ARE GORGEOUS. ANY SIZE BODY FROM SVELTE TO CUDDLY AND ROUND IS BEAUTIFUL. Get it now? What I rally against, as an FA supporter, is the ideal that beauty, acceptance, and health are all pigeonholed into the package of the thin, tanned, blonde haired and blue eyed woman. I mean, you can be a brunette or have brown eyes, but that means your body has to be THAT much more toned. What I fight for is a world where folks don’t qualify someone’s beauty or handsomeness to fit that glorified unattainable ideal. (She’s so pretty for a fat girl. He’s so handsome for a fat guy.) Again, if MR has an issue with that, she can kiss my ass.

Oh, and PLEASE leave that whole fat is already acceptable argument alone, dammit. If it were acceptable, folks wouldn’t have garbage thrown at them when they jog. Folks wouldn’t have to come up with responses to Fatty Drive-Bys. In fact, there would BE no fatty drive-bys at all if fat were acceptable. In fact, if it were ok to be at one with oneself, there would be no Extreme Makeover and such. So for the third time, MR can kiss my ASS.

Oh, and random doctor A? (I didn’t catch her name.) Alright. Why is she proposing a moratorium on white foods? I like potatoes, rice, bread, and the like. It tastes good. I also like brown rice and wheat bread. It also tastes good. I like to drink my calories sometimes, because juice is tasty. And if I want a soda (mmmm, cherry Coke) or Kool-Aid (mmmm, watermelon cherry), I’m gonna drink that too. Because it’s tasty. And as we all know, the quickest way to cause an obsession is to restrict one’s access to something. Even if it’s as asinine as a potato(barring those who have sensitivities to these foods, of course.)

As I’ve said, Rachel and Monique ROCKED today, especially up against MR and the doctor AND in such limited time. They did beautifully.

And I totally want their glasses. Cause they’re beautiful, too.


Saturday Throwback: Remember When…

Sesame Street was made of teh awesome? I mean…really, REALLY made of the awesome? Take this classic clip for example:

*sings along*

C is for cookie…that’s good enough for me!

Yeah. At least, it used to be.

Ok, I admit it, I’m one of the many adults who loves to watch Sesame Street. It’s just something about Big Bird and Elmo that put me in a state of happiness. But Cookie Monster? Man. I LOVED him. But with the makeover that SS has gone through the last few months/years, it just isn’t as much fun as it used to be.

So you can imagine my excitement when I found out that Sesame Street is putting it’s first couple of seasons on DVD. I was so excited! My nephew can see the Sesame Street I grew up with! (Ok, well, I’m too young to know seasons 1 and 2, but Noggin used to air the older episodes. And I’d stay up till 2 and 3 in the morning to watch.)

Except there’s a warning on there. The old school Sesame Street (complete with Kermit the Frog!) is not acceptable for younger viewers.

Why? Yep, you guessed it. Good old Cookie Monster. But it’s not JUST because he eats nothing more than cookies (and for serious, y’all, why the hell are these producers making him eat fruits and veggies? He is a COOKIE MONSTER, and as such, that’s all he should need to live. Monsters that eat all kinds of foods are named Telly, and Elmo, and…well, you get the idea.) Remember Alistair Cookie of Monsterpiece Theater? He smoked. And then he ate the pipe. And if little kids watch him, they’ll smoke. Then eat the pipe.


But you know, apparently the whole lot is revolutionary. Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of Sesame Street, says:

She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody “Monsterpiece Theater.” Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”

Which brought Parente to a feature of “Sesame Street” that had not been reconstructed: the chronically mood-disordered Oscar the Grouch. On the first episode, Oscar seems irredeemably miserable — hypersensitive, sarcastic, misanthropic. (Bert, too, is described as grouchy; none of the characters, in fact, is especially sunshiney except maybe Ernie, who also seems slow.) “We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now,” she said.

*sigh* But if you take away Oscar, there’s no more Slimey the Worm. And Slimey was (and continues to be) the only worm I ever wanted to pet and love and possibly rename George. But I digress.

I think that folks grossly underestimate how much sense children have. Some may have questionable judgment, sure, but they have a whole lot of sense. I grew up with Monsterpiece Theater, and I never had a desire to either smoke a pipe or eat the pipe. I mean, my grandmother smoked for a time, and it stank. I wasn’t about to eat that. If anything, I was gonna throw it away, ’cause stuff that smelled rotten always made it to the garbage in my house. But that’s just me. And I also wasn’t gonna eat my weight in cookies. I’d rather BAKE the cookies, and watch other people eat them. I actually wanted to bake Cookie Monster some cookies and listen to him om nom nom nom (and I would have giggled, just as I did when I found that clip up yonder). Damn, even the Muppets can’t enjoy a treat without the food police swooping in.

Man. It’s good to remember when people weren’t scared to make quality tv. I can say that my other guilty pleasure, The Backyardigans, does help fill the void. But it sure isn’t Cookie Monster.

What’s some of y’alls favorite children’s shows (or Sesame Street songs?) Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you watch them. 😀


Hah! My favorite Rubber Duckie song!


My Troll Cherry Has Been Popped

Addendum: Ok, so I’m thinking that perhaps I am being a bit harsh. Sometimes my concience can really nag at me. At any rate, I do want folks who are coming by to visit to NOT be afraid of leaving me a comment. However, per my pseudo-comment policy (see the Welcome! tab up top), I reserve the right to ridicule folks who come here and are disrespectful. You now have an example of disrespectful. Had Human simply said, nicely, what photophobic was, then I would have said thanks, directed them to the previous post, and kept it moving. That didn’t happen, so s/he got to be my anxiety reliever. 

And I’m damn disappointed. I figured that I’d have a logical argument. Or something. No, kids, that’s not what I got at all. Remember my post I wrote like, earlier today? The one in which I outline what “photophobic” actually means? And where I emphasize that I don’t use the term to downplay anyone who may indeed be truly photophobic? Y’know. Oh, and up top where I explain my version of Photophobic: fear(phobia)+ pictures(photos)=photophobic—yeah. Damn troll missed that whole section completely, cause this is what I ended up getting:

photophobia is dislike of light…………..idot

What the fuck, yo. Now, I’m not gonna tell y’all this fool left the comment on the aforementioned “Why I Am Photophobic” tab. *snicker* Anyhow, let’s break this down for a second. A dislike is not a fear. In order for it to be a phobia, it has to be a fear. Ergo, you, dear Human (I don’t make the trolls, I just ridicule them, folks) may not know much more about it than I do.

Actually, in my previous post, I told you EXACTLY what it was, and I even pasted the definition for your convienience. Thanks for not reading.

Oh, and if you’re gonna insult me? I’ll thank you to take the time to spell it correctly. “Idiot” has two i’s, motherfucker. Do please get it right or stay the hell away.

Now, typically, I wouldn’t entertain comments this stupid (because, SERIOUSLY, 5 minutes of reading could have kept this from happening), but I have some developments and such going on tomorrow (good ones!), and I needed to release some anxiety.

I feel better. Was it good for you? Cause it was lovely for me.


My Favorite Search Terms

I love reading my stats. Not only do I get to see how many folks pop by to read my rants, but I get to see how people got to my blog.

Some come via other sites, and some get here through searches. Those searches…oh boy. I simply giggle when I see some of the searches folks run.

One day, I got a hit from someone looking for Paula Deen’s caramel cake recipe. I’m sorry I didn’t have it posted (my caramel cake recipe came from a Southern Living cookbook), but, if you should ever need it again, click here.

Someone else ran a search on “don’t hire fat people”. Hm. I’m not so sure what to say to this one (maybe you were looking for someone else’s article on the subject?) but I will say this: the only time you should ever decide NOT to hire a fat person is if said person isn’t right for the job. Basically, it would be the same reason you wouldn’t hire ANY SIZED person for a job. Skills, education, and merit should shape a decision of that nature, not size.

Another researcher coasted in with “treating obese people with insensitivity.” See above. Folks rarely deserve to be treated with insensitivity. If you rape and shoot folks? Yes, I reserve the right to be insensitive. If you’re fat? Why would I be? If you’re thin, in-between…seriously, folks. Size is not a moral failing, I don’t give a damn who the hell told you otherwise. Humans should be treated with respect regardless of size, height, age, skin color, or religion. Period.

Next up: “Is too much bread making me fat?” Hm. Well, the sassiness in me says absolutely not. But then, your weight gain could be indicative of a medical issue. Perhaps you don’t metabolize sugar well (since bread=carbs=sugars), and all you want is bread because your body is screaming for something it can’t get. Perhaps you have PCOS. My point is, don’t vilify the bread just yet. See if it’s something serious, and if not, I say enjoy the bread anyway. But for the love of yeasty baked goods, don’t give up the bread just to drop some pounds. It isn’t worth it.

A real good one was the person who found me through the search “fat people can’t help it bullshit.” My, my, my. Well, darlin’, on the off chance you weren’t looking for a specific article with that line, or surprised to find someone who didn’t cosign with that touch of jackassery, let me tell you something. Unless you can tell me exactly why people gain weight (and I mean ALL people, not just blanketed statements) and cannot take it off, and it be something as simple as making me a Bunsen Burner (as in less calories in, burn more, weight loss bullshit fed to us fat folks), some of us CANNOT HELP IT. I dunno why I’m fat. I eat healthy, I work out, all that stuff that as a “good fatty” *eye roll* I’m told to do, and I’m fat. I’ve done diet after diet and become nothing but broke and depressed. You think I have some kind of moral failing? I don’t. Nor does any other fat person in the world, be they sedentary or active, healthy eaters or otherwise. To put it in the simplest, crudest terms possible: fuck you. You don’t get to decide what’s truth and fiction for everybody, yo.

And finally, I come to the number one reason folks make it to my blog: folks want to know what in the hell Photophobic means. And for the record, the actual meaning of photophobic is not the meaning I’ve invented for the use of my blog. According to MSN Encarta, the actual meaning of photophobic is:

1. Affected by photophobia: related to or having a condition in which the eye has very low tolerance to light.

2. Being afraid of light: having an irrational fear of light

3. Growing well in reduced light: describes an organism such as a plant that grows well in reduced light.

Nah. Nothing to do with how I use it at all. Full disclosure: I had no clue there was such a thing as photophobia…or being photophobic, so if anyone is offended by my cavalier use (simply to indicate I have a fear of taking pictures) then I apologize. But in case anyone really wanted to know what it means: there you go.



I’d like to send glowing congrats to the bloggers featured in the New York Times article. Y’all effin RAWK! Without y’all, I’d probably still me in my funk about my belly…and I’m no longer in the dark. So thanks for what y’all do, for real.


It’s Official: I’ve Heard Everything

Via JoGeek, I have now learned that driving while fat is on the same level of driving under the influence.

Folks, I don’t make up the news. I just report it.

So, researchers in Australia have found that folks with higher BMIs pose risks on the road, because with higher BMIs come a greater risk of lethargy.

Study supervisor Dr Sara Lal says driving with sleep apnoea is effectively the same as drink driving due its similar effect on brain activity.

Wait, so all fat people have sleep apnea now? I wasn’t aware, considering, I, you know, DON’T HAVE IT.

Ms Pe Benito said the results defied some of the conventional wisdom about the differences between young and more seasoned drivers.

“For young drivers we found that the strongest predictors of crashing were body mass index (BMI) and regular alcohol consumption – as distinct from driving under the influence of alcohol,” she said.

“Obesity is a significant risk factor shared with older drivers. High BMI goes hand-in-hand with increased levels of lethargy, the rapid onset of fatigue and slower reaction times.

Good Lord. Did I get Bingo yet? Oh, boy. So, essentially, my fat makes me lethargic, fatigued, and slow to respond. And all of that plus a car equals accident, y’all. But see, it was the last part of the second article that struck me.

“However, there was no significant difference in brain activity and mood between young and older drivers and no association found between mood and driving performance,” Ms Pe Benito said.

Now see, this statement in and of itself lets me know that the study is bunk. It’s either that, or the good folks Down Under don’t have a such thing as road rage. In just about every state I have lived in, I’ve heard reports of folks driving badly while angry. And I don’t mean just speeding. I mean speeding to pull up next to to the offending car to shout obscenities, throw objects, or in the most extreme cases, to shoot into the car. In all seriousness. There have been children murdered in road rage incidents. But there’s no significant difference in brain activity and mood?

Oh, and will this study provide a new police charge: DWF (that’s driving while fat, natch)? And is it considered a double offence if the person driving is both fat AND drunk? The mind boggles, y’all.

You know, I say this every time a “study” is released to the world: I want to know where the research money is coming from! I can discover foolishness too. I can! Just give me a reason, and where to look for it, and I PROMISE you I can deliver some grade A foolishness.

But you know…I don’t think my foolishness could ever top this one. At all.


In Which I Question Some Folks’ Sanity

So, BuddingStarlet gave me a call today to tell me that there was an American couple that plans to open a theme park in Haiti.

I’m all…ok. Why is this news?

Her: “Guess what the theme is?”

Me: “I don’t want to.”

Her: “You shouldn’t, but I’m gonna tell you anyhow. It’s slavery. Tourists come to the park and get to experience slavery.”

You know, I’ve seen and heard of many things in my short time here. But never, EVER in a million years did I think folks could actually decide that slavery would be an excellent idea for entertainment. So, I’m thinking…maybe people are playing a joke. Nobody could possibly be that insensitive to a barbaric event in history. So I Google it.

Yep, people really ARE that fucking insensitive

So, for folks who manage to find this post via a search (either because you want to know more about it, or because you, like me, couldn’t believe it) I am a Black woman, and anything I have to say about this from here on out is gonna be biased. Prep yourself for it now.

Can anyone…anyone at all…explain to me how in the mauve hell this could be considered entertainment of any kind? Because by calling it a theme park, that automatically designates the place as a forum for happiness and fun. There wasn’t a damn thing about slavery that was entertaining, happy, or fuckin’ fun. And if these folks saw the happy, I for damn sure want to see the history book they were taught from, cause my personal research as well as studies in school don’t reflect that ideal AT ALL.

Now, I was wondering where the inspiration for the park came from. I wanted reasons. Answers! Now! Well, I didn’t get that. Not from this article, anyway. What I got was:

Mrs Bluntschli said: ‘Slavery is a terrible wound. Germany is still suffering trying to get over the Holocaust, and this is a Holocaust that happened for centuries.’

Alright. I think I’m gonna do some reading between the lines here. Is she saying that perhaps in folks experiencing slavery, they can maybe understand it? And then this will silence the folks (both black and white) that say, “You don’t understand how the slaves suffered!” And in so doing, make people leave slavery in the past? And I ask this because I have had countless debates on how Black people always harp on slavery and use it as a scapegoat for all of the issues that Black Americans suffer.

I’m about to piss some folks off, so I apologize in advance.

Slavery is an issue today more than anything else because of the lack of equality on all levels. Hell, I came into this world with two strikes against me: I’m Black and I’m a woman. I, as many Black women, have to work twice as hard, because I’m fighting against both racial and gender stereotypes. All of this stems from the view of the Black woman slave: we’re not good for much more than cookin’, breedin’, and obeyin’. In twelve hours, these people expect to actually show how women were raped and brutalized, their children ripped from their arms and taken to God knows where, never to be seen again? In twelve hours, these people think that simulating being kidnapped and forced onto a slave ship is gonna adequately show the inhumane and unsanitary conditions my ancestors had to face? How these slaves were bound and stacked into compartments so that they couldn’t even move to pee? Cause you KNOW they had to relieve themselves on each other. They had no option. They were stunted intellectually because knowledge is indeed power, and just learning how to read could result in slaves being deliberately blinded? See, whippin’ ain’t all that the slaveholders had to do. It was all out psychological warfare. Is any of that being simulated?

Oh, and once all that is done, will they have to go out into the world knowing that for the next hundred or so years, their descendants are gonna be spat upon, raped, lynched, shot, bombed, sprayed with high power hoses, and attacked by guard dogs? Cause that’s the next link in the understanding, now. Don’t just half-step.

All that ranting is to say that no amount of simulation is gonna teach anybody anything they didn’t know about slavery. With the advent of the computer and Internet, people can look up and read horror stories from slavery times till they’re blue in the face. And they still won’t know the stigma that is being a Black person in America unless they instantly transform into a Black person and have to live in a world where folks with the same education level don’t get the same jobs and pay, get followed through stores by salespeople that are CONVINCED they’re gonna shoplift because of the color of their skin, or pulled over because they’re in “the wrong neighborhood.”

Oh, and please don’t give me that foolishness that “Blacks need to let slavery be in the past and move on.” Because as I’ve stated above, in 200-fuckin-8 we are STILL feeling the consequences of slavery. We can’t move on, because way too often I hear about folks being discriminated against in one form or the other. And now folks want to scream reverse racism because of affirmative action. I know what you’re thinking. “You’re always saying you want equality, but affirmative action doesn’t promote equality because it’s only for people of color!” Good point. However, in an ideal world folks wouldn’t have to worry about that, because they’d be accepted on merit. In a day and age where a person with a more ethnic name has a harder time getting hired, I’m sorry, but I worry sometimes if folks would ever hire people of color at all if not for affirmative action.

I understand the need for folks to know where they come from. I do, seriously. But you can’t make me believe that a 12 hour experience is gonna mirror 400 years of torture. You just can’t.

It’s times like this I question folks’ sanity. Or at least, their humanity.

For the record: I’m aware that this park focuses on slavery in Haiti, and not slaves in America. However, I still have a problem because slavery issues intertwine. I’m sure quite a few of y’all are aware of the issues that Haitians face both there and here in the States, should they even make it here. It just isn’t right on ANY level.

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