Archive for June 8th, 2008


What Do You Say

…to a good friend that’s having a bad-body day? For those unfamiliar, a Bad-Body Day is one of those days where one’s life or perception is so out of control, one feels all they can do to improve it is to turn that frustration and anger on their bodies.

My trigger is stress. When I look at my life sometimes, I wonder what the hell I did wrong to keep me from being where I wanted to be by this time. I should be in law school, with my own apartment, a nice little gig in a law firm to make some extra cash, stuff like that. Instead, I’m living with my mom, working two jobs (and one, since it’s temporary, will be ending in a couple weeks or so), school is but a semi-distant dream right now, my mom–while she’s on the mend–rarely tells me what’s going on with her financially, so I worry about being able to help out more, and my jobs don’t pay enough for me to do much. But I do what I can. And all of that frustration, all of that self-disappointment, all that anger, gets turned towards my body. When I wrote that convo between Dr. Jekyll and myself, I was having a bad day already, then I read some unsavory literature, and all that in my head equalled DIET.  I can’t fix shit else in my life right now, but if I skip a couple of meals, work out about 3 hours a day, I can fix this body! Which is absolutely irrational, I know. But I go there on occasion. I pulled myself back, but what can one say to a friend who hasn’t come far enough in her acceptance journey yet to pull herself back as easily?

My friend lives in one of the most aesthetic driven cities on Earth. She texted me today, telling me how she found herself wanting to be thin like her coworkers.  So I asked why she wanted to be thin, because it’s been my experience that thin=fixing all things bad in life. She responded that many of her coworkers are younger than her (she’s 25), thin (she’s an inbetweenie), and married (yep, she’s single). So then she caught herself and asked if maybe she was equating married with skinny. I told her probably so, but we all have those moments, and allowing yourself to think about it sometimes will help you work through it so you can reject it the next time it comes up.

And the convo progressed from there. I’m doing what I can to make it better, but she and I are so much alike, I know that it’s something she has to work out in her own head, much like I do. But I know the positive words go a long way to help too. At least, I hope what I’m saying helps.

So, I open the floor to y’all. What do y’all do when faced with a Bad-Body Day? Do you write, read a good book, or watch a funny movie? Do you take a walk and appreciate nature? What do you say to try to uplift a friend in the middle of a Bad-Body Day?


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