Archive for January, 2009


Why I Love Kate Harding…And You Should Too!

First things first. I sincerely hope that everyone’s new year is off to a grand start. If not, I hope for only great things from this point on. One of my new year’s resolutions is to make sure that the things and people that have touched my life over the years and continue to do so do not go unnoticed. In pursuit of this goal  I realize what a long list this is but I am confident I will get to everyone no matter how long it takes me. In light of recent experiences I would like to start with Kate.

On Thursday night I attended a book release of the anthology Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. The anthology includes an essay written by Kate entitled How to Fuck a Fat Woman. I will not attempt to do that fantastic piece justice by summarizing. I can only say, buy the book. Its phenomenal. 

As many of you may know I am a grad student in a gender studies program. I knew many of my classmates would be at the reading and when I found out Kate was coming it gave me a tremendous opportunity. I shared with my fellow feminists: this is Kate Harding and this is why she is so important. I was able to share with them that Fat Acceptance is both powerful and feminist and no one could illustrate my point better than Kate.

Even though I had already read her piece a couple of times by then, I was still completely in awe of Kate’s bravery. She shared her story with a fearlessness that I aspire to have. Afterwards, I had the chance to tell thanks her for writing her blog, and for giving me a platform to share Fat Acceptance with my peers. I hope many of you are readers of her blog, and if you are I implore you to take on my New Year’s challenge and share your thoughts and feelings with her. And to buy her book. (*wink wink*)

I must say that she is so dedicated to the community at the conclusion of our brief conversation she was familiar with this blog and even said to tell fashionablenerd she said hello. A message I gleefully passed along.

To conclude I will leave you with Jaclyn Friedman’s (the anthology’s editor) answer to Kate’s title question. How do you fuck a fat woman: with enthusiasm. 

Have a wonderful Superbowl Weekend.


Let Me See You Shake A Tailfeather!

Well, we’ve got to do something to avoid freezing. But before I get into all of that, an update.

So, I told FashionableMom about the blog I wrote earlier this week, and everyone’s suggestions. She wanted me to tell everyone thank you, and that she won’t be returning to that particular doctor. She’ll ask her GP to recommend someone else. And yes, she still considers him to be a liar, as her knee has swollen again and it’s bothering her once more.  (“He said I’d feel better! He didn’t say it would only last a week!” I’m pretty sure it’s because she went back to work, and her body’s got to adjust to that…but yeah. She’s still pissed at the doc.) So I’m sure we’ll have another doc trip to go on. I’ll keep y’all abreast of the situation.

Now that’s out of the way…

About the shaking of a tailfeather! Earlier this year, I promised myself I’d try to come out of my anti-social cocoon and get out to enjoy life. So, my social life has finally bloomed!

At least a little bit.

You see, I don’t dance.

It’s not that I can’t dance, it’s that I’m not as comfortable dancing in front of people I don’t know. My weight isn’t part of this equation, it’s just that I feel like people are EYEBALLING ME OMG. I mean, it’s nothing for me to get down in my house while I’m cleaning or just because I really love the song that’s playing, but in public? With like…other people? I freeze.

This isn’t fun for me, or for the folks I go out with.

So, a couple of days after New Year’s, I actually went to the club…and shook it. All of it. And while I had a great time, I was petrified within. Would I be harassed? Was I gonna have to pull out my salty language?

Nope. I, and my friend I was with, got invited to another party. And I’ll be out again tomorrow. I’m gonna have to beef up my going out wardrobe (that’s gonna be an upcoming post) to prepare for my blooming social life.

I still have a slight fear of dancing in public, but it’s getting better. It’s just gonna take more going out and shaking it more often when I do.

And just so folks with icicles in their houses can thaw out some…come on and shake a tailfeather! (This may be NSFW due to much shakin’, and language. Consider yourselves warned.)

Have a great weekend y’all!


In Which I Ramble About Health and Age

Last week, my mother went to the doctor to have him check out her knee. It’s been “giving her the blues,” as she puts it, for some time, and she’s been limping a bit.

Once the specialist looks her over and takes some x-rays, the diagnosis comes back: she’s got arthritis in her knee. The treatment: cortisone injections and weight loss. I’ll get to the weight loss part in a bit.

So, the doc pulls out this BIG ASS NEEDLE (yeah, needles are the reason I have yet to get a tattoo) and proceeds to well, stab it into my mom’s knee. She, of course, responds with language that would make a sailor blush. After he finishes, he reiterates what will help her knee feel better: the cortisone, the anti-inflammatory medication, and weight loss. To his credit, he does emphasize that said combination therapy won’t cure her knee, but it will make it better.

As my mom’s knee is smarting at this point,  she is still swearing under her breath, and is NOT paying attention to what’s going on, the doc speaks all of his recommendations to me, so that I can remind her of them later. As he talks of the “getting some weight off of that knee” part, he eyes me and my belly. I respond by laying my patent-pending fuck-you bitch-face stare on him. He averts his gaze.

I wasn’t there to see him, and there’s nothing wrong with my knees. I suppose it was a concerted effort on his part to wordlessly (he was talking to/ about my mom, after all) get me to consider MY weight and what it’s doing to my knees. *eye roll*

Once we’re back in the car (once we get my mom’s pants back on and she stops swearing) I tell her what he said. I don’t mention him giving me the once-over. Her response: “While my knee does feel better when I weigh less, I’m more concerned with strengthening it. So, I’ll work on that. I’m not concerning myself with the rest of it, because I think he’s a liar.”

Me: “Eh? Liar? Where did THAT come from?”

Her: “He promised me something to numb my leg before he STABBED me in the knee, and he didn’t. (When I thought about it…he did say that.) He also said it would feel like a bee sting, and THAT was a damned lie. Besides, unless me starving (this is her pet word for dieting) is going to cure this, and it isn’t, I’m not focusing on all of that.”

Me: “Ok, then.”

We ride in silence for a while, before my mom quietly says: “Damn it. Old age is kicking my ass, but I’m not gonna go quietly! It’ll have to take me kicking and screaming!”

When I get home, I relay the abbreviated version to BuddingStarlet. She responds: “What’s old age have to do with it? I’m 25 and I’m considering knee replacement surgery. I have arthritis as well. I mean, I suppose all those years of dance lessons and gymnastics didn’t help, but age? Not even.”

It was here I had a bit of a realization. See, when folks are diagnosed with arthritis, often the first reaction is “Lose weight!” But what if it’s brought on with way too much activity? Maybe it’s hereditary. Hilariously, my mom’s concern had nothing to do with her weight, but everything to do with her being 45. I might add she was an avid athlete when she was younger, and has been working retail since before I was born (I’m 23.) I’m sure that helped.

My point to all this rambling is, I guess, that just as fat and health can’t be lumped together, neither can age and health. I know folks older than me who are much healthier than I am, and in fact, unless they told you their real age, you’d assume they’re much younger. It’s all relative, and I’m of the mind that you’re only as young as you feel. (And seriously? That makes me about 70. I have an old soul, y’all.)

And since my mom wants to feel HER age, I’m gonna look into some strengthening exercises for her. I’ll go too, and see if I can start feeling my age as well.


Updates and Happy New Year!

I hope everyone enjoyed saying goodbye to 2008. I know I did.

So, I’ve been absent for some time. I don’t think I realized how time consuming retail is during the holiday season. Or how angry customers can be.


Outside of that, I’ve had some other projects I’ve been working on. I’ve got a cookbook in the works. I don’t have an agent or anything yet, just an idea and a pile of recipes I’ve been trying to make some sense of. I might post some of the potential ones here, if y’all don’t mind my experimenting on y’all. 🙂

I’ve also signed on to help BuddingStarlet edit her first novel she’s got in the works. More on this good news as it develops.

My co-blogger passed all of her classes last semester with flying colors! Woo!

Now that’s all out of the way, on to bloggy business. I have about three posts or so in the works: one health related, and two shopping related (yay clothing reviews!). And since I’ll be doing a bit of traveling this year, I’ll be doing some airplane related pieces as well.

One of my resolutions this year was to dedicate more time to doing things I love. So, expect to see much more of me in 2009 than you saw in 2008! Anything you want to see me tackle this year? You know the deal: drop me a line in the comments or send me an email.

Have a great weekend, y’all. See you next week.

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