Archive for November, 2009

13
Nov
09

Fashionable Friday—Thanksgiving Outfit

So, the holidays are upon us once again, and it’s all about visiting with friends and family. You want to look fabulous, naturally. As for me, the budget is too tight to make it home to Texas to see my mom, so BuddingStarlet and I are entertaining at our spot.

Now, this is my first Thanksgiving here in the Big Apple. And y’all know I have to look good, right? So when the good folks at Eshakti contacted me about reviewing a piece, I jumped all over it. I’ve spoken at length before about their service and their dresses, and I was looking forward to purchasing a fall frock for the shindig at the apartment.

So, I looked, and looked, and looked, and I finally settled on this beautiful piece:

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Purple! And gold!

Y’all, I fell in love when I saw it online, and when I got it in the mail earlier this week, I fell in love again. The dress is a beautiful aubergine color, and the embroidery isn’t metallic. It’s a golden tan. It has the sash to cinch it, and for those of us who are not a fan of the trapeze dress, you’re gonna need that sash. The fit is amazing. Now, my boobs are not on Rack of doom status, so whenever I get a wrap dress or some trapeze dresses, they never fit in the boob area. It’s usually a sad, flat area. But now when you order, you can provide your bra size (and height, and other measurements too; it’s a bit extra to get that done) to get a great fit. This dress fits my boobs perfectly, and when it’s perfectly cinched, it looks gorgeous. I even had them shorten it a bit, so that it hits right at the knee instead of the standard below the knee length. Now, I may not actually use the sash. I love the embroidery so much, I think I may get myself a bronze belt instead, and some cute little bronze flats like this from Target:

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Bronzed slippers

I love a heel, but since my job is the cooking (BuddingStarlet is decorating) I don’t need my feet screaming for mercy before the guests arrive. I’ll do simple, natural makeup. In fact, if y’all are up for some luxe makeup, head over to Urban Decay (y’all know how I feel about Urban Decay). They’re currently having their friends and family promotion; 30% off your order from November 9-20. Enter code FNFW1 at checkout. Luxe not in the budget? I understand. Y’all know how I love me some Eyes Lips Face, right? Oh, and Payless has their BOGO going on, so stop in and grab yourself some cute flats, or heels…or slippers. Y’all know I love to spread the sales around!

Next week, stay tuned for the Thanksgiving spread I’ll prepare (and hopefully not mangle). Enjoy the weekend!

09
Nov
09

In Which I Ramble About Dating

So, in my last post, I said I’d found myself a boyfriend. We met online, and if anyone is a reader of the blog Fat Girl on a Date, you know that navigating the world of  online dating is a feat in itself. It was here that I (or maybe I’ve read it somewhere, I’m not sure) came up with the term DWF: Dating While Fat.

DWF really ought not be such a revolutionary thing, but really, especially in the online arena, it can be the biggest hindrance in the world. Although most dating sites nowadays will give you a list of body types to describe yourself, most folks do not read said type, and then will IM/email you and ask you about your build. Or, in their profiles, they’ll have some tripe listed such as ” I prefer height/weight proportionate women” or “thick girls apply” or “well curved women welcome”, which is about as clear as the water in the Mississippi River. Now, I’ve touched on what “thick” kind of means before (we’d call them an “inbetweenie” here in the Fat-O-Sphere), but what in the mauve hell does “well curved” mean? I think I’m well curved. Does it then mean me? Or is there some level of curve that I’m supposed to adhere to? Who the hell comes up with these rules, anyway?

The dating website I was on at the time didn’t have those neat little classifications, so I took the time to write a disclaimer of sorts in the profile itself. It was pretty cute, and culminated with the words “I’m fat. Don’t want y’all to think I’m holding back anything.” Succinct and to the point, right?

Y’all, I cannot explain the level of crazy I got. Everything from the married teacher asking me to strip on camera to the Nigerian gentleman who wanted me to be his 2nd wife. In between all of that, I actually got some promising hits. We’d have amazing conversation/IM sessions, and then we’d decide to meet.

And then it would all go to hell. It wouldn’t be personality conflicts (ok, not always) or that my oddities were just too odd, but my body type would cause some kind of issue.

I think that most of these men expected me to be what I call “vanity fat.” You know, where I just say I’m fat but am really thin?  Right. When they saw that I was, um, actually fat, it was a shock. And for some, it was indeed a problem. For example:

Dude: “Oh, I didn’t think you were really fat.”

Me: “Yeah. I am. Does this make you uncomfortable?”

Dude: “No, I just didn’t think you were really fat. Like, you know how you women are. Y’all exaggerate.”

Me: “…”

Now, I’m sure y’all are aware he got ditched more for the “you women” comment than him having an issue with my fat, right? But that’s really my point. Why exactly is weight so damn important? For me, it’s just a descriptor: I’m tall, I’m brown, I have long hair, I’m fat. Whatever. Why does it matter?

I’m not sure I understand why it is that weight has such leverage over who we deal with. I’m more concerned with if a man has a rap sheet, jilted and slightly crazy ex-girlfriends, is misogynistic, lacks ambition…you get my drift. I need to be able to hold an intelligent conversation with a man. Whether the man is fat or not is the last thing on my mind.

My man knows that I adore Shakespeare, that I want to be a diplomat, a writer, and a cook, that my favorite color is blue, and how I got that heart-shaped scar on my belly. He knows I adore calla lilies and gardenias, and that I collect teddy bears. As an addendum, I happen to be fat. He doesn’t care. All he sees is my beauty, both inside and out.

And at the end of the day, if a man can appreciate me in my entirety, that’s all that really matters.




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