Archive for the 'Eating Disorders' Category


Updates and Outrage

So, my posting has been sporadic as of late, and for good reason. I’ve had to get myself on a managable sleep pattern, since I start working in a couple of weeks. So, yay job!

Posting will likely be sporadic still in these next couple of weeks, as BuddingStarlet is coming for a visit, and I don’t expect to be anywhere near a computer outside of the requisite online shopping. Once I settle into job/keep house/write rhythm, then posting should pick back up around here.

Now, on to the outrage. Via Jezebel, I found this article that outlines the double standard of fat men and fat women: fat woman is bad, fat man is athlete (stereotypically speaking, of course). Now I’m sure we all know men who would say that whole assertion is bullshit, but this author took it from a deeper perspective: she has a daughter and son, both fat (until her daughter developed an eating disorder). I could understand the author’s fight with body image, and wondering how to help her daughter….and then I read this paragraph:

To a new parent, size equals strength. Infants need cushioning, in case your suburb’s struck by cholera or plague. But by the time Jake’s older sister Marcy got to middle school, I was starting to worry. She was big like me; there wasn’t any denying it. Fortunately — unfortunately — society was on her like a leech to get skinny, so I didn’t have to say a word. By 10th grade, she was Kate Moss-thin. I was impressed by her self-control — until her hair began to fall out in clumps. With the help of a therapist, she conquered her eating disorder. But now I was totally confused on what messages to send my kids about food. Of course I wanted Marcy healthy — but damn, she sure had looked good when she was thin. Except for the hair.

Emphasis mine. That sentence may be the most heartbreaking and infuriating line I’ve read in quite sme time. It’s heartbreaking because why would anyone think…man, I’m losing hair because I’m starving, BUT I LOOK SO FUCKING SEXY? Chalk that up to the unattainable image of beauty that’s been foisted onto the world. And for that same reason it’s infuriating: Dammit, woman, your daughter’s hair is coming out in clumps and all you can think about is how good she looked thin? The world’s priorities are FUCKED UP, yo.

But I’ll let y’all read and discuss, since the massive cleaning of my house won’t wait. Sanity Watchers, tread carefully over at Jezebel, while the comments aren’t all that bad, there’s a couple of ignorant statements there. For those ED recovering, be careful at the other article I have here: while the author doesn’t go into detail, some of the scenarios might be triggering. I haven’t scanned the other article’s comments, so again, tread carefully.


A Fashionable Day

I’ve been gone for a while. There’s no real reason, although I did catch up on some sleep. But when I flipped through my mom’s Essence magazine the other day, I got really excited.

Like, REALLY excited.

The holidays, of course, are upon us, and with these holidays comes the need for beautiful dresses and shoes. Ok. ANY time of year comes with a need for beautiful dresses and shoes as far as I’m concerned, but y’know, the holidays give you an excuse to go buy them. Anyway, I flipped to the holiday section of the Essence to look at the party dresses, and I thought…wow. That’s a gorgeous model. And man! What a gorgeous dress! And then it hit me why I was so enthralled with both dress AND model for a change: she looked NORMAL.

Wait! Don’t get the torches and pitchforks yet, because I have to explain what normal means for me. And it’s got a bit of a cultural thing attached, so bear with me, folks. In my family, you’re gonna get picked at for being “too skinny” (like my stepsister, who wears a size 0) as you are for being what’s considered too big (that’d be me, at a size 20-24 depending on the store). So, as a Black woman, “normal” isn’t very thin (ok, is anybody’s normal extremely thin? Most likely not) so to see a fashion editorial that begins at a size 8 (YES! A size 8! not a 0-4 like one is typically used to seeing in a magazine) is akin to finding an elusive pair of shoes in my size (I wear a size 10. Apparently, so does everyone else within 30 miles of here.)

I mean, these models had hips and bums and..wait. Is that a bit of a belly? OMG! So they do make models that look like…well, actual women! And I swear that the last young lady (the one in the fabulous Ashley Stewart dress I lust for) could be my body double…if I were a bit taller, that is. 😆

Like…I felt good, like I did when I first discovered b & lu and got happy when I saw some women that looked like me modeling the dresses. Like hey, dammit, now I have proof of what I’ve been telling folks all these years. Just because I’m fat does not mean I can’t look fabulous! I can be just as fashion forward as anybody else!

What a revelation, y’all. One akin to this one.

Ok, I have to go make a shopping budget. Y’all should too, and go pick yourselves up something fabulous to wear: life’s to short to not dress well!


This Makes Me Sad.

So, I was doing my usual blog-surfing (I managed to miss Project Runway! Dammit.) and I ran across this article on Jezebel. Sometimes I forget how far reaching the all-powerful media can be. I mean, seriously y’all. Once I read the exerpts, I (foolishly) went to the thread to see if it were really as bad as it seemed. Dear sweet God in Heaven. It was worse. Much, much worse. And I’d like to add that this is on Teen Vogue’s message boards, y’all. I mean…TEENAGERS WROTE THIS:

today i hade lemon zinger tea with one packet splenda 0 cal and water and took my meds…then during the day i just kept taking sips of hot tea to fil me up…. so far ive had o calories total!!! whooohooo…

but i still need some good exercising tricks..and tha kinda stuff…

share your skinny secrets!!

The responses to this thread? Whew. Here are a few:

good job!

Im on a diet right now because i want to lose alot of weight before December.

Soo… this is what i ate today:

3 plain rice cakes

2 small bites of a banana

(I diddnt eat it all at once- it was spread all throughout the day)

so it was

145 calories

Im planning on doing some crunches and leg lifts too

Btw, i love tea too! its great for weight loss – especially green tea- it makes you burn more calories!

I also love the feeling of hunger. I feel so clean and light and empty.

That last one damn near sent me over the edge. Man. Oh, and those reflections were from three seperate posters. Now, I do feel the need to point out that the entire thread isn’t filled with the high praise of not eating. Other young women came in and berated these girls, (and y’all know how I feel about that, so I’m not gonna include any of that here) but reading over the thread really made me think: what is all this fat hatred doing to the younger generation?

I mean, with all of the reports that obesity is gonna kill us, fat is bad, omgobesityepidemic, putting kids (four month olds!) into gyms…seriously y’all. Folks don’t realize the gravity of the images placed in the media. Children and teens don’t fully understand that all of these images they are bombarded with day after day after day are nowhere near real. Nowhere! But with all of the “War on Fat” rhetoric plugging up the airways and television…all these kids can think of is fat=bad and thin=good. What also got me was that the young women that were all about eating 145 calories per day is that they were AWARE that it was unhealthy…but they wanted to be thinner. In their minds, they NEEDED to be thinner. And trust me, not all doctors worry about your actual health, as long as you are skinny—or are becoming skinny. Where does the madness end, y’all?

Now, I’m not a health professional, but I’m thinking these young women need some help (I’ll add here that some of the responses were kind pleas for the “dieting” girls to please get some help). But the media, these doctors, these researchers, their followers—all that are on this fat is unhealthy and will kill you and it LOOKZ BAD OMG kick—need help too. They need to take a step back and look at what they are pushing these children to do to themselves.

I’m just not gonna go into how pissed I am that Teen Vogue has allowed this thread to stay up. I mean do these people monitor what’s on these threads? Clearly not. Because I reckon this thread don’t cross the line of “offensive”. Or at least not to them. Whatever.

It just breaks my heart to see that this is what the world is coming to. Folks aren’t focused on being healthy and living the best life they can. They’re focused on being thin—no matter the cost to their body or their psyche.

And that focus can have mentally draining and sometimes deadly consequences.

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