Archive for the 'Random' Category

11
Sep
08

Music Makes it Better

So, yesterday, after a pleasant conversation with BuddingStarlet, I decided I should get up and clean the house. I do so every week, but I always have to find the motivation.

I loathe cleaning. I do. With the fire of a thousand suns.

Anyhow, in between reading the Fatosphere and catching some Dr. Phil, I got to work scrubbing the bathroom. I wouldn’t dislike this if I didn’t have to share the bathroom with a 17 year old. And even still, it wouldn’t be so bad except he’s a boy, and I have to clean the toilet.

Can someone explain to me how men manage to miss? WTF, yo.

Well, once I get the Clorox in the toilet and the Comet in the tub, I’m already sick of the whole idea and want to go find something else to do. Instead of that, I grab a mix CD and a tiny radio/cd player and put it on. I hadn’t listened to that CD in forever, so I had no clue what was on there.

First Track: Crazy in Love. Hm. Ok, then. I proceed to scrub the sink. Amerie’s “One Thing” comes on, and I scrub the dreaded toilet. By the time I get to “Bootylicious”, I’m shimmying all around the room with the Swiffer as if I can actually dance, and once I’m done, I’m kinda sad about it.

So, I move little cd player to the kitchen, and do dishes and sweep and mop. All the while, I’m bringing sexy back, learning about Christina’s candyman, and trying to help Beyonce understand her Deja Vu.

Yeah, I still loathe cleaning, but music helps make it better for me. How about y’all? What motivates y’all do to something you can’t stand? Or, if you hate cleaning too, what music makes it go by faster?

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29
Aug
08

Mixed Bag

I have been very busy these past couple of weeks. I’ve finally decided on school (when I send the application, I’ll expand on that a bit more), I’ve been working extra hours (yay more money to live on and save!), and all in all, I’ve been having some major happy body days. It’s all been coming up lovely at FashionableNerd central, y’all. How have y’all been? Feels like I haven’t spoken to y’all in a month of Sundays!

Now, tomorrow, I go to finally buy my bridesmaid’s gown. I’ll be going to David’s Bridal, and hopefully I won’t have any problems, be it from the salespeople or my diet-mind. Something about trying on formal gowns just sends it into overdrive. But my mom will be there with me, so I’m sure I’ll be ok. Deep breaths.

Last night I witnessed history. I thought I’d have more to say about it than that, but I’m still kinda speechless and spellbound by the speech and the man who delivered it. I am so excited to be old enough to appreciate a Black man running for President, and excited that he is really and truly a viable candidate. And while I won’t be voting for her running mate, I’m excited that Sarah Palin, a woman (!) is running for VP on the Republican side. I’m being positive today, so the fact that I think that McCain is pandering? That’s gonna have to wait till next week, during the Republican National Convention.

Besides a wonderful bit of feminisim coming in that McCain post (and y’all know IntellectualFeminist will have PLENTY to say on that), I’ve got some other things in the works for y’all. Since things around here are settling into a more manageable rhythm, I’ll be able to post much, much more, especially about the election, racism, and of course, my raison d’etre, fat.

So, to end this rambly, disjointed update post: sales! In the States, it’s Labor Day Weekend, and that means sales for everybody. Lane Bryant has an awesome sale going on, as does Macy’s. Looking for an awesome makeup sale? Hard Candy has everything for 50% off. Need some sweet-smelling soaps and lotions? Head over to Bath and Body Works for their Labor Day sale.

Ok, that’s it from this end. If shopping goes well, y’all will probably see me Tuesday, if not, I’ll be back tomorrow. Have a great weekend!

29
Jul
08

Intuitive Eating and Me

Ugh. So, I’ve been having more technical problems. *shakes fist at Internet provider* But since I’m back for now, I’m gonna post before it conks out on me again.

I’ve spoken a bit about intuitive eating in some of my past posts. And I wish I could now say “It’s SO easy to do!”

But I’d be lyin’ to y’all.

What I’ve found (and naturally, YMMV), is that it’s hardest for me to listen to my body’s cues when I’m on my cycle. Ok, I’m about to get REAL personal, so if y’all aren’t quite ready to know me like that, you may want to navigate away.

Still here? Great! Ok. My eating habits pre-cycle are pretty average. But during? I’m tellin’ y’all, if you were to meet me, and not realize my cycle was the issue, you’d think I was pregnant. I want the most RANDOM foods ever at the most RANDOM times ever.

Case in point: Sunday morning (and I’m talking midnight, Sunday morning), I had a craving for…biscuits and gravy (maybe my last post was still ringing in my head?). Now, my approach to intuitive eating is as follows: I want said food, if said food is available, I eat said food. I tend to not ponder over the whys and such of wanting the food, cause I can talk myself right out of EATING sometimes. But all I could think when the craving hit was “Who in the hell wants biscuits and gravy at 12:20 am?!” Apparently, this woman, ’cause I paused my movie and rolled right out of bed to make those biscuits and gravy.

Now, we won’t talk about how gravy is one of those condiments I cannot make to save my life. Totally moot. But it turned out ok. And I was full and satiated. (Look for a recipe post Friday, provided the damned ‘net doesn’t die before then.)

All that to say: intuitive eating isn’t gonna be easy. I’ve been in convos about intuitive eating where women have said “If I ate what my body wanted, all I would eat is ____________!” My argument is: since you keep telling your body you can’t have ________, it’s gonna want _____. And the first thing that’s gonna happen when you actually listen to your body instead of ordering it about is it’s gonna want all that __________ you wouldn’t let it have before. That stops after awhile. What’s harder to stop is the need to rationalize why you’re eating what you’re eating (which also goes to the little anecdote above). When my little bro came wandering in the kitchen, to see me sprinkling parsley on my plate of biscuits, gravy, and scrambled eggs, he says “I wanted some breakfast too!” Ordinarily, I’d be all: “But I’m hormonal!” which involves an overshare that no 17-year old boy wants to know about, but instead I said:

Me: “Oh, yeah? Why didn’t you ask me to make you something?”

Him: *stares at my plate with disdain* (he doesn’t eat scrambled eggs without pork sausage–I don’t eat pork–and he’s not so fond of gravy…or biscuits.)

Me: “Oh, yeah. Right. Well, there’s pancake mix in there. Have at it.”

Him: *as he makes his meal* “I used to always wonder why you ate breakfast in the middle of the night.”

Me: *eyebrow raise*

Him: *carrying plate to his room* “But I know now. It just tastes better.”

And you know what else tastes good? Not having to keep my body from what it wants. Mmm, happy body moments. Goes great with Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk!

Editor’s Note: Littlem, check your inbox, darling. I finally got a chance to reply to you. Sorry for the lateness!

19
Jul
08

The Weekends Top Ten

I have realized in the last week or so that my choice of literature, coupled with school and the start of a new job has made me more serious than usual. So I thought I would have a little fun. Here are the top ten wonders of my world (which usually only exists in my head) for this week.

1. Why is it that the cover of my Sizing and Sewing for Plus Sizes book has a typical size model as opposed to a plus sized one? (More importantly, why is the photo of a plus sized woman measuring a thin model?)

2. Why are there so many body conscious, relationship obsessed women in my gender studies program? (it just seems a little ironic to me, just when I thought I would find allies. I’m sure they are there I just haven’t found them yet.)

3. Why do the aforementioend women get upset when I tell them I don’t want to go the gym and work out with them even though its a nice gym (sponsored by the university) and it’s free?

4.Why does the “welcome to the team” email from my new boss say be prepared to win, but doesn’t say what we are competing for or who with?

5. Why is it so damn hot outside???!!!

6. Why does the reading list for my fall class seem a lot longer than what I can read in one semester?  (ahhh, grad school).

7. Doesn’t anybody just drink plain water anymore?

8. How can a person rant and rave about how tasty my chilli is and then when I tell them it’s vegan they look like it has suddenly become disgusting because there is no meat in it?

9. Who came up with the idea to have a wet t shirt race?

10. And why didn’t anyone think that a private women’s college may not be the right place to have one?

There you have it folks. These are the kinds of things that come to mind when you  move to a new city where you know no one. I have to entertain myself somehow. Don’t I? Have a great week.

06
Jul
08

Sunday Relaxation

Ok, this bit ‘o fluff was supposed to have been posted Friday. However, work called (this would be the part-time gig I have–primary job has ended) and they needed me. Now, since my body has gotten out of the habit of working every day, working three days in a row has my feet screaming at me in fifty-two languages. Seriously.

So, now that I’ve bought myself some ridiculously expensive work shoes from The Walking Company{Sidebar: Dang, y’all. My feet can’t take the combo of nice flat + Dr. Scholls Massaging Gel Insert not one more day. I keep saying it’s an investment, cause I NEVER pay that much for shoes}, I’m wondering what y’all do to unwind? Working retail is particularly grueling, I’ve learned (No clue how my mom does it every day–hell, I can barely manage part time three days a week!), and it feels really good to just come home, massage my feet with some soothing foot care products from The Body Shop, light some sandalwood incense, and put on some music.

Today’s CD comes from Amy Winehouse. I downloaded her first album, Frank, earlier this week from Rhapsody, and I have track 12, “Take The Box,” on repeat. That has to be the smoothest sounding break-up song I’ve heard in a while. {Sidebar the Second: Amy, please take care of yourself. You have AMAZING talent. Don’t throw it away on crack and booze. Seriously.} As I type this up, I’m slowly nodding my head to the music, sipping on a glass of ice water, and simultaneously browsing Epicurious. Oh, I’ve found dinner for this evening:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo credit goes to Romulo Yanes. That up there is Turkey Pot Pie with Cheddar Biscuit Crust. Yeah, it’s kinda warm for a pot pie, but I have a taste for it today.

So spill it! What do y’all do to relax? Usually, I’d read, but after work some days all I want is something brightly colored to run across my TV screen, so I usually put on whatever cartoon looks good. Oftentimes it’s Spongebob, other nights, it’s Family Guy. Sometimes it’s a meditation session. And sometimes, I just go to bed. Sleep is awesome, y’all.

Y’all enjoy the rest of the weekend!

04
Jun
08

On The Democratic Primaries

I am a Black Female Democrat. And I’ve been watching the Democratic primaries with avid interest. When it was confirmed that Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were actively seeking the nomination, my response was IT IS ABOUT FUCKING TIME.

Seriously. In a melting pot such as this, in a supposedly progressive country as this, why the hell did it take so long for there to be two viable candidates that were female or Black? I think I danced around my room a bit when the news was confirmed.

But then, I did a bit of research…and while the women that we know of that ran either for the Presidency or on a ticket (Shirley Chisholm and Carol Mosley Braun, to name a couple) were relatively famous, there were actually 35 other women that have run. Yeah. For real. Jump over here and check out twelve other women who wanted to join the big dance. And no, Senator Obama isn’t the first Black man to run. Jesse Jackson, Alan Keyes, and Al Sharpton all ran. So then, what makes this election so historical?

This year, a woman and a Black man actually had a CHANCE.

Now, I don’t mean chance as in them having the time or that discrimination prevented it (at least, not this time). I mean that America finally has the mindset to rally against the White male archetypal president. We could also be sick of the president we currently have (FN Rant: My CAR KEYS would make a better president than we have now. And I don’t have a car. End rant.) and want some relief from the foolishness the current administration has lavished upon the American people since Bush first stole the election. Yeah. I said it. And I meant it. (/bitter Former Floridian) And while I am a cynic and die-hard conspiracy theorist, I am excited to be able to witness the time where a woman and a Black man can not only just run, but be real viable candidates for president.

When I was a little girl, I used to tell people I want to go to law school, become a lawyer, open my own practice, and be the first Black woman president. Folks would smile and tell me to aim for the stars. And while that dream hasn’t died, I am excited and hopeful that by the time I’m old enough to run for President (I’m 23 now), that the first Black woman president title will be taken. In fact, my hope would be that by the time I’m able to run, we won’t have to worry about breaking gender or racial boundaries. It’ll simply be another election. That will be when we know we’ve made true progress in America.

And as for the Democratic Primaries dragging out for so long? While I am an Obama supporter, I would genuinely been happy with either senator. But I wanted there to be a daggone nominee already! So, once I saw the results of last night’s primaries, this song popped in my head:

I just want it to be over. This presidency…I just want it to be over. And with the quality of these candidates…we’ll have something wonderful to look forward to.

ETA: If the video up there isn’t working, click here so you can see it. It’s Keyshia Cole’s “I Just Want It To Be Over.”

 

26
May
08

Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde Speak

Every now again my diet mind (Dr. Jekyll) and I (Ms. Hyde) have a conversation. Usually it takes place in my idea journal, where I keep short stories and plot lines housed. But, following a round of reading some, eh, unsavory literature on-line (I don’t follow Sanity Watchers. I probably should.), my diet brain wormed its way back into my subconscious. So, I wrote down my internal dialogue in my idea journal, and I’d thought I’d reprint it here for you (modified to protect anonymity, naturally). The acceptance thing doesn’t always come easy, y’all.

Dr. J: Ha! So you’re listening to me today. I knew I’d be able to get back into your mind.

Me: Eh. Don’t think you can overtake me. I’m holding to my new convictions.

Dr. J: New convictions? You’re still on that Fat Acceptance bullshit?

Me: It isn’t bullshit, thank you very damn much.

Dr. J: Of course it is. If you weren’t having doubts about this ridiculous movement, you wouldn’t be talking to me right now. So what diet will it be today? Or do you need some motivation? Did you notice your thighs today?

Me: No diet. I’m having a rough day body-wise, but I’m not allowing you to take over my life. Not again. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been talking to my mama lately.

Dr. J: Oh, yeah. I mean, I can’t seem to force her to bother you about your weight, but I can sure make her speak about her weight loss. I mean, it isn’t ALL affirmative, but I’ll take what I can get. I mean, I managed to get YOUR attention today.

Me: You know what, you’re a bastard. My mother is ILL. She has colon issues! She losing weight because she can’t eat very much of anything. {Side note: her issues are non-life threatening. They just cause a whole lot of discomfort. Since this has been written, and it’s been a while, she’s gotten it under control and is feeling better.} And I’m not seeing getting excited by losing weight that way. Also: I’m gonna have to ask you to let my godmother alone. Don’t have her cosigning Mama’s weight loss.

Dr. J: Why not? Weight loss is important, so you should achieve it by any means!

Me: At the expense of my good sense? My well-being? You know what, it’s a reason you and I aren’t cool; you don’t help me lose a damned thing but my mind. And I need my mind.

Dr. J: What does Fat Acceptance do for you? Sounds like some code for giving up. So, you’re a quitter. I knew you didn’t care enough to do what you need to do. Fat is unhealthy, you know!

Me: Wrong. I accept myself for who I am. Apparently, myself is fat. It is what it is. Hell, 22 years and some odd months of dealing with YOUR tired ass hasn’t made me thin. Listening to you berate me hasn’t made me thin. Listening to you talk to me–being “concerned” for me–through others HAS NOT MADE ME THIN. What Fat Acceptance has done for me is actually enjoy working out without worrying about what the scale says. I measure my “success”, if you want to call it that, by how flexible and strong I feel, and THAT keeps me moving and having fun. Perhaps you never noticed that when I never lost weight by doing those magical exercise poses, I QUIT DOING THEM BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I FAILED. When I adopted Health at Every Size (HAES), I adopted a way to help myself feel healthy and become healthy without having that fuckin’ scale attached to my ankle. When I saw how poorly fat people were treated, FA gave me script to read from, a way to react, a way to help instead of simply wondering what to do. FA gave me a reason to really question everything that YOU and everyone else ever told me. I finally had an opposing viewpoint, instead of just ONE view that had been hammered into my head since I was knee-high to a piano bench. I’ve researched both sides of the coin. Thoroughly. And I reject you, Dr. Jekyll. Because your perception doesn’t fit my reality, and I know this rings true for others.

Dr. J: You know what, you act as if you have all this mouth, and that FA is all that wonderful. But again, you continue to let me back in. You continue to speak to me. You have to be having doubts. All must not be good in paradise, girl, because here I am. Like I told you, fat is unhealthy. You, because you are fat, are unhealthy. You ought to be happy that you’re smart and have a pretty face otherwise you’d have no redeeming qualities at all.

Me: No. See, you let yourself in because I’m having a bad day. But you haven’t made me change my mind. You weren’t present when the doctor told me I was healthy. I don’t have high blood pressure, no diabetes, nothing. My mind is powerful and beautiful, and is connected to a face that is beautiful, which is connected to a body that is, yep, you guessed it, powerful and beautiful! My weight has jack shit to do with the woman I am; fat is not an insult, it’s an adjective, and it can’t hurt me. Not anymore. Furthermore, not every fat person is unhealthy because of their fat, and they shouldn’t be abused because they happen to be fat and unhealthy. Hell, I don’t see you worrying the shit out of thin, unhealthy people. Why the hell can’t you see it isn’t any of your business either way?! Folks should not be ridiculed or hounded because of their size or health level. Period. We are not an aesthetic. We are PEOPLE.

Dr. J: So, you’re encouraging OTHER people to be unhealthy? What if diets work for them? How can you take their hope away from them! Clearly, this whole FA phase you’re going through seems really self-centered.

Me: Actually, I’m encouraging other people to take the information they have and compare it to the information I and other bloggers in the Fatosphere have. If they choose to reject it, that’s fine. I’d rather they make an informed decision rather than mindlessly following the same ideals. If one needs to make a decision about FA or not, then let it be educated. And if diets work for them, I think that’s lovely. I hope they’re happy with their progress, and I hope it continues to work. However, if the tide changes and it doesn’t stick, I hope they know it isn’t a bad thing, and they should love themselves regardless. And I also think they shouldn’t look down on those who think and act differently than they do regarding dieting. I dislike DIETS, not DIETERS. Further, I don’t seek to take away anyone’s hope. I just feel folks should know all the story and not just half. Sometimes one can do everything “right” and it still not work as one expects. Fat isn’t a moral failing. I just want folks to know that, and in that vein, it can’t be all about me, because I want everyone to know just that: fat is not a moral failing. So you go to hell, Dr. Jekyll. You’ve taken up enough of my brain today. Go annoy someone else. But know this, every day more and more people reject your ideals and standards of beauty.

Dr. J: Oh, ok. I’ll leave. But know this, the spirit of my thoughts lies in the brain of every person that comes here to harass you. It lies in every person who loses weight, keeps it off, and deliberately makes you feel bad for not trying it too. It lies in every person who gives you dirty looks when you go out to eat. I’m there. And I’ll never be too far away, darling, should you chose to come back to the side of good sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. It’s pretty lengthy. Ordinarily, Dr. J would have won, and I’d be on diet 28379817378, but this time…no. I think I had to write out my convictions for myself to see just how far I’ve come. And I still have some work to do…so I can get rid of Dr. J permanently. I hope that anyone else that reads this can see just what the movement stands for, and is willing to see both sides of the coin. And if y’all are having a bad body day, you can reaffirm your convictions too.




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