Archive for the 'Sad' Category


In Memoriam

I’d originally planned another post for today, but I’m still bummed that a King of Comedy and Black Moses have both passed. So, in honor of Issac Hayes and Bernie Mac, enjoy.



A warning for the Bernie Mac clip: he had (*sigh*) some very crass humor and a filthy mouth. So, NSFW.

I’ll have something of some real substance (and is actually relevant to the site) later on this week.


Updates and Outrage

So, my posting has been sporadic as of late, and for good reason. I’ve had to get myself on a managable sleep pattern, since I start working in a couple of weeks. So, yay job!

Posting will likely be sporadic still in these next couple of weeks, as BuddingStarlet is coming for a visit, and I don’t expect to be anywhere near a computer outside of the requisite online shopping. Once I settle into job/keep house/write rhythm, then posting should pick back up around here.

Now, on to the outrage. Via Jezebel, I found this article that outlines the double standard of fat men and fat women: fat woman is bad, fat man is athlete (stereotypically speaking, of course). Now I’m sure we all know men who would say that whole assertion is bullshit, but this author took it from a deeper perspective: she has a daughter and son, both fat (until her daughter developed an eating disorder). I could understand the author’s fight with body image, and wondering how to help her daughter….and then I read this paragraph:

To a new parent, size equals strength. Infants need cushioning, in case your suburb’s struck by cholera or plague. But by the time Jake’s older sister Marcy got to middle school, I was starting to worry. She was big like me; there wasn’t any denying it. Fortunately — unfortunately — society was on her like a leech to get skinny, so I didn’t have to say a word. By 10th grade, she was Kate Moss-thin. I was impressed by her self-control — until her hair began to fall out in clumps. With the help of a therapist, she conquered her eating disorder. But now I was totally confused on what messages to send my kids about food. Of course I wanted Marcy healthy — but damn, she sure had looked good when she was thin. Except for the hair.

Emphasis mine. That sentence may be the most heartbreaking and infuriating line I’ve read in quite sme time. It’s heartbreaking because why would anyone think…man, I’m losing hair because I’m starving, BUT I LOOK SO FUCKING SEXY? Chalk that up to the unattainable image of beauty that’s been foisted onto the world. And for that same reason it’s infuriating: Dammit, woman, your daughter’s hair is coming out in clumps and all you can think about is how good she looked thin? The world’s priorities are FUCKED UP, yo.

But I’ll let y’all read and discuss, since the massive cleaning of my house won’t wait. Sanity Watchers, tread carefully over at Jezebel, while the comments aren’t all that bad, there’s a couple of ignorant statements there. For those ED recovering, be careful at the other article I have here: while the author doesn’t go into detail, some of the scenarios might be triggering. I haven’t scanned the other article’s comments, so again, tread carefully.


Don’t Want To Watch The SuperBowl?

 Special Addendum: I would like to send my condolences to the families and friends that were affected by the shootings at the Lane Bryant in Chicago. I send my prayers and healing vibes to you all. While fuzzy animals damn sure can’t fix what y’all are going through, maybe watching them can be a bright spot in your day. Peace and Blessings to you all.

Then you should totally watch this instead.

That adorable clip is brought to you by the good folks at Animal Planet. For the last three years, they’ve done the puppy bowl (it airs at the same time as the SuperBowl.) Hours of cuddly, fuzzy, and chubby puppies playing with their tails, each other, and various squeeky toys. Best show ever.

And I didn’t forget about you kitten lovers!

That is the kitten half-time show. There’s something for everyone!

So, if you’re like me and your favorite team didn’t make it to the Big Game this year, flip to Animal Planet at 3pm (2pm central) and watch adorable animals.


In Which I Question Some Folks’ Sanity

So, BuddingStarlet gave me a call today to tell me that there was an American couple that plans to open a theme park in Haiti.

I’m all…ok. Why is this news?

Her: “Guess what the theme is?”

Me: “I don’t want to.”

Her: “You shouldn’t, but I’m gonna tell you anyhow. It’s slavery. Tourists come to the park and get to experience slavery.”

You know, I’ve seen and heard of many things in my short time here. But never, EVER in a million years did I think folks could actually decide that slavery would be an excellent idea for entertainment. So, I’m thinking…maybe people are playing a joke. Nobody could possibly be that insensitive to a barbaric event in history. So I Google it.

Yep, people really ARE that fucking insensitive

So, for folks who manage to find this post via a search (either because you want to know more about it, or because you, like me, couldn’t believe it) I am a Black woman, and anything I have to say about this from here on out is gonna be biased. Prep yourself for it now.

Can anyone…anyone at all…explain to me how in the mauve hell this could be considered entertainment of any kind? Because by calling it a theme park, that automatically designates the place as a forum for happiness and fun. There wasn’t a damn thing about slavery that was entertaining, happy, or fuckin’ fun. And if these folks saw the happy, I for damn sure want to see the history book they were taught from, cause my personal research as well as studies in school don’t reflect that ideal AT ALL.

Now, I was wondering where the inspiration for the park came from. I wanted reasons. Answers! Now! Well, I didn’t get that. Not from this article, anyway. What I got was:

Mrs Bluntschli said: ‘Slavery is a terrible wound. Germany is still suffering trying to get over the Holocaust, and this is a Holocaust that happened for centuries.’

Alright. I think I’m gonna do some reading between the lines here. Is she saying that perhaps in folks experiencing slavery, they can maybe understand it? And then this will silence the folks (both black and white) that say, “You don’t understand how the slaves suffered!” And in so doing, make people leave slavery in the past? And I ask this because I have had countless debates on how Black people always harp on slavery and use it as a scapegoat for all of the issues that Black Americans suffer.

I’m about to piss some folks off, so I apologize in advance.

Slavery is an issue today more than anything else because of the lack of equality on all levels. Hell, I came into this world with two strikes against me: I’m Black and I’m a woman. I, as many Black women, have to work twice as hard, because I’m fighting against both racial and gender stereotypes. All of this stems from the view of the Black woman slave: we’re not good for much more than cookin’, breedin’, and obeyin’. In twelve hours, these people expect to actually show how women were raped and brutalized, their children ripped from their arms and taken to God knows where, never to be seen again? In twelve hours, these people think that simulating being kidnapped and forced onto a slave ship is gonna adequately show the inhumane and unsanitary conditions my ancestors had to face? How these slaves were bound and stacked into compartments so that they couldn’t even move to pee? Cause you KNOW they had to relieve themselves on each other. They had no option. They were stunted intellectually because knowledge is indeed power, and just learning how to read could result in slaves being deliberately blinded? See, whippin’ ain’t all that the slaveholders had to do. It was all out psychological warfare. Is any of that being simulated?

Oh, and once all that is done, will they have to go out into the world knowing that for the next hundred or so years, their descendants are gonna be spat upon, raped, lynched, shot, bombed, sprayed with high power hoses, and attacked by guard dogs? Cause that’s the next link in the understanding, now. Don’t just half-step.

All that ranting is to say that no amount of simulation is gonna teach anybody anything they didn’t know about slavery. With the advent of the computer and Internet, people can look up and read horror stories from slavery times till they’re blue in the face. And they still won’t know the stigma that is being a Black person in America unless they instantly transform into a Black person and have to live in a world where folks with the same education level don’t get the same jobs and pay, get followed through stores by salespeople that are CONVINCED they’re gonna shoplift because of the color of their skin, or pulled over because they’re in “the wrong neighborhood.”

Oh, and please don’t give me that foolishness that “Blacks need to let slavery be in the past and move on.” Because as I’ve stated above, in 200-fuckin-8 we are STILL feeling the consequences of slavery. We can’t move on, because way too often I hear about folks being discriminated against in one form or the other. And now folks want to scream reverse racism because of affirmative action. I know what you’re thinking. “You’re always saying you want equality, but affirmative action doesn’t promote equality because it’s only for people of color!” Good point. However, in an ideal world folks wouldn’t have to worry about that, because they’d be accepted on merit. In a day and age where a person with a more ethnic name has a harder time getting hired, I’m sorry, but I worry sometimes if folks would ever hire people of color at all if not for affirmative action.

I understand the need for folks to know where they come from. I do, seriously. But you can’t make me believe that a 12 hour experience is gonna mirror 400 years of torture. You just can’t.

It’s times like this I question folks’ sanity. Or at least, their humanity.

For the record: I’m aware that this park focuses on slavery in Haiti, and not slaves in America. However, I still have a problem because slavery issues intertwine. I’m sure quite a few of y’all are aware of the issues that Haitians face both there and here in the States, should they even make it here. It just isn’t right on ANY level.


In A Funk

Man. I’ve been pretty down these past few days. I’m having the “I’m Never Gonna Have A Career!” blues. I wish I was able to afford an apartment. Or a car. Or my cell bill. Or the damn $20 payment on my credit card. But I can’t. And that shit sucks to high heaven.

I don’t know anyone here in my new state…so I don’t have any friends. I’m not so lonely (cause I’m a natural loner 🙂 as I am just bored. And I wish I knew someone so they could come over and share my salmon chowder (brand new recipe y’all) I made tonight, cause nobody in my house eats salmon but me.

I want to date…but I don’t feel I have a whole lot to bring (see first saddening paragraph above) to the table, besides my sparkling personality and razor-sharp wit, of course. 🙂

But despite all of this…all of my whining and complaining…I have no need to:

  1. Diet
  2. Exercise Obsessively
  3. Berate my belly
  4. or make a list of flaws.

Now some folks are wondering…how in the hell did she make a jump from feeling broke to her belly? Simple. I was one of those folks who felt that everything that went wrong in life (lack of job, friends, significant other) was brought on my my belly. Because see, when you’re fat, nothing else is focused on except the size of your belly. That’s what it’s all about, after all. You’d get a man if you took the time to look good. (Look good=get skinny, natch.)You’d have a job if you looked “hireable” (no. seriously. someone told me that once. jackass.) Our culture stigmatizes fat so much that it feels like getting rid of it is the Holy Grail to All Things Wonderful.

But it isn’t. And even though I’m in this funk now, I’m happy to note that, for once in my 22 years on this Earth, it has absolutely nothing to do with my thighs/arms/ass/belly. I’m not angry at my fat, nope, not a bit. Not anymore.

Heh. That thought just brought a smile to my face. Gonna go job hunting now. 😀


This Makes Me Sad.

So, I was doing my usual blog-surfing (I managed to miss Project Runway! Dammit.) and I ran across this article on Jezebel. Sometimes I forget how far reaching the all-powerful media can be. I mean, seriously y’all. Once I read the exerpts, I (foolishly) went to the thread to see if it were really as bad as it seemed. Dear sweet God in Heaven. It was worse. Much, much worse. And I’d like to add that this is on Teen Vogue’s message boards, y’all. I mean…TEENAGERS WROTE THIS:

today i hade lemon zinger tea with one packet splenda 0 cal and water and took my meds…then during the day i just kept taking sips of hot tea to fil me up…. so far ive had o calories total!!! whooohooo…

but i still need some good exercising tricks..and tha kinda stuff…

share your skinny secrets!!

The responses to this thread? Whew. Here are a few:

good job!

Im on a diet right now because i want to lose alot of weight before December.

Soo… this is what i ate today:

3 plain rice cakes

2 small bites of a banana

(I diddnt eat it all at once- it was spread all throughout the day)

so it was

145 calories

Im planning on doing some crunches and leg lifts too

Btw, i love tea too! its great for weight loss – especially green tea- it makes you burn more calories!

I also love the feeling of hunger. I feel so clean and light and empty.

That last one damn near sent me over the edge. Man. Oh, and those reflections were from three seperate posters. Now, I do feel the need to point out that the entire thread isn’t filled with the high praise of not eating. Other young women came in and berated these girls, (and y’all know how I feel about that, so I’m not gonna include any of that here) but reading over the thread really made me think: what is all this fat hatred doing to the younger generation?

I mean, with all of the reports that obesity is gonna kill us, fat is bad, omgobesityepidemic, putting kids (four month olds!) into gyms…seriously y’all. Folks don’t realize the gravity of the images placed in the media. Children and teens don’t fully understand that all of these images they are bombarded with day after day after day are nowhere near real. Nowhere! But with all of the “War on Fat” rhetoric plugging up the airways and television…all these kids can think of is fat=bad and thin=good. What also got me was that the young women that were all about eating 145 calories per day is that they were AWARE that it was unhealthy…but they wanted to be thinner. In their minds, they NEEDED to be thinner. And trust me, not all doctors worry about your actual health, as long as you are skinny—or are becoming skinny. Where does the madness end, y’all?

Now, I’m not a health professional, but I’m thinking these young women need some help (I’ll add here that some of the responses were kind pleas for the “dieting” girls to please get some help). But the media, these doctors, these researchers, their followers—all that are on this fat is unhealthy and will kill you and it LOOKZ BAD OMG kick—need help too. They need to take a step back and look at what they are pushing these children to do to themselves.

I’m just not gonna go into how pissed I am that Teen Vogue has allowed this thread to stay up. I mean do these people monitor what’s on these threads? Clearly not. Because I reckon this thread don’t cross the line of “offensive”. Or at least not to them. Whatever.

It just breaks my heart to see that this is what the world is coming to. Folks aren’t focused on being healthy and living the best life they can. They’re focused on being thin—no matter the cost to their body or their psyche.

And that focus can have mentally draining and sometimes deadly consequences.

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